Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
