you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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