i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
i now understand why vodka
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