: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I have aggressive nipples.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
