ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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