Got a toothbrush?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
