should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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