i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
