Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
