youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
MIDGETS
????
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
