Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i permit you to call me
It's like God shit irony all over that family
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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