Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
