Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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