See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
