Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
