On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
two words: eviction party
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
