summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
