hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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