I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
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