Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
