I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
he wants to bone in the snuggie
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
