Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
