What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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