My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
