There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
