I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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