Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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