apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
