you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
