I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
