did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
