I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
