My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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