he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
two words: eviction party
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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