You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
