If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
