my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
