it wasn't lemon gatorade
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
