tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
