It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
