His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
