I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
