also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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