Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
