i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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