Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
