Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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