I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
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