I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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