Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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